Swan Holes

Let's rewrite Twilight?

There once was a sparkly pedophile vampire named Edward who was in love with a misfit named Bella....

finish it and I will put everyone's answers together and make a story.
10 pionts to the most creative
10 points sorry typo.

In a town called spoons there once was a sparkly pedophile spoonvire named Edward who was in love with a misfit named Bella. He would spy on her through his telescope at 3 am in the morning, every morning, of every day, of every year for the entire of his existance, or maybe her existance i suppose, since he would live FOREVER and she could not. It was due to one really hot day in spoons as the family of the Spoonvires more commonally known as the Cullens, were sunbathing and lapping up the waves down at LA Push, near there holiday cottage, that Edward first met Bella. She was carring a yogert and dipping in the most precious and shiny looking spoon he had ever seen.
"Stay still Edward, if you snatch it and run she'll set charlie on you," Alice warned, and at that he stopped, he didn't want chief swan to come and take away his glorious sppon collection and child porn.
the rest of the day was spent in pure bliss as Rosalie and Emmett rugby tackled each other into the sea and came out in each others swim wear. Carlise and Esme dissapeared off to their cottage, which was just off the roads from Jacob Blacks mansion, owned by the notorius stuffed dog collector Seth. Alice and Jasper simply sat and day dreamed about stuff, Alice having to occasionally tug on Jaspers arm to prevent him from stealing the old silver spoon that would reflect the sun.
"hey" Bella Swan had suddenly appeared besides Edward from out of no where. "I know what you are," she stated and thsi was whe Edward realised that he couldnt read her mind, he needed her to say it out loud.
"Say it, say it outloud!" he commanded and she looked away from him, into the sun.
"A a a a - spoonvire?" she was nervous he could tell.
"Are you afraid?" he asked, and watched as her head shook and she looked into his multi coloured eyes.
"Im not afriad of you," she stated.
"but- but- i've spooned people before. i'm the worlds most dangerous spoon-hunter. everything about me invites them in, my sparkle, my voice even my enormus hair! i wanted to spoon you! i've never wanted a humans spoon soo much in my life."
"I dont care," she stated, taking a step towards him, her diamond encusted spoon held out. he took it, staring at its impecable beauty.
"Its like a drug to me, its like my own personal brand of herion," Edwrad stated holing the spoon up so it reflected the sun. Just at that moment a hand was placed on Edwards shoulder.
"Its time to go Edward, otherwise we will be later for the show," Carlise said, and Edwards head popped up it was just then that he remember, using his ASONISSHING and wonderful mind zapping skills to burn the memory from Carlise mind. Edward Cullen did not go to watch harry potter in the cinema, him and daniel radcliffe had had many arguements over the past two years, mainly over Hermiones obsession with Edward and her liking for bllood. The fancing him bit Edward didnt mind but the blood was just creepy. Eurgh, he shuddered before buring the memory of the film out of everyones mind.
"High school musical it is!" he annonced to the pack of six, and they all joyfully skipped off the beach holding there most precious popcorn spoons, except bella who was holding Edwards hand as he stared at his new spoon decalring how ickrecably and unconditionally in love with him she was.
It was then however that Alice suddenly stopped, and they turned round, there in the middle of the sea holding a masive voice projector was James! the most evil spoonvire in the land, he would go to any attempts to get the best spoons. instinctivly all the cullens hid their but the inoccent humans on the beach were merely oblivious.
suddenly james eyes flicked over to Bella Swan, holing a dimond encrusted spoon the size of her head, Edward could see through alices mind what was about to happen just as james annoced through the voice projecter;
"YOU BROUGHT A SPOON!"

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